Life and Business Coach Margaret Pundmann: December 2009

POWERFUL LIVING, POWERFUL YOU

This Week's Topic: Find the Perfect Gift ... Fast!

"Thunder rumbles in the mountain passes And lightning rattles the eaves of our houses. Flood waters await us in our avenues. Snow falls upon snow, falls upon snow to avalanche Over unprotected villages. The sky slips low and grey and threatening. We question ourselves. What have we done to so affront nature? We worry God. Are you there? Are you there really? Does the covenant you made with us still hold? Into this climate of fear and apprehension, Christmas enters, Streaming lights of joy, ringing bells of hope And singing carols of forgiveness high up in the bright air. The world is encouraged to come away from rancor, Come the way of friendship. It is the Glad Season. Thunder ebbs to silence and lightning sleeps quietly in the corner. Flood waters recede into memory. Snow becomes a yielding cushion to aid us As we make our way to higher ground. Hope is born again in the faces of children It rides on the shoulders of our aged as they walk into their sunsets. Hope spreads around the earth. Brightening all things, Even hate which crouches breeding in dark corridors. In our joy, we think we hear a whisper. At first it is too soft. Then only half heard. We listen carefully as it gathers strength. We hear a sweetness. The word is Peace. It is loud now. It is louder. Louder than the explosion of bombs. We tremble at the sound. We are thrilled by its presence. It is what we have hungered for. Not just the absence of war. But, true Peace. A harmony of spirit, a comfort of courtesies. Security for our beloveds and their beloveds. We clap hands and welcome the Peace of Christmas. We beckon this good season to wait a while with us. We, Baptist and Buddhist, Methodist and Muslim, say come. Peace. Come and fill us and our world with your majesty. We, the Jew and the Jainist, the Catholic and the Confucian, Implore you, to stay a while with us. So we may learn by your shimmering light How to look beyond complexion and see community. It is Christmas time, a halting of hate time. On this platform of peace, we can create a language To translate ourselves to ourselves and to each other. At this Holy Instant, we celebrate the Birth of Jesus Christ Into the great religions of the world. We jubilate the precious advent of trust. We shout with glorious tongues at the coming of hope. All the earth's tribes loosen their voices To celebrate the promise of Peace. We, Angels and Mortal's, Believers and Non-Believers, Look heavenward and speak the word aloud. Peace. We look at our world and speak the word aloud. Peace. We look at each other, then into ourselves And we say without shyness or apology or hesitation. Peace, My Brother. Peace, My Sister. Peace, My Soul."

Amazing Peace: A Christmas Poem By Dr. Maya Angelou

This Week's Topic: Find the Perfect Gift...Fast

Dear Friend,

It is Christmas Eve morning and many of us are scurrying around town trying to find the perfect gift for a loved one. In three minutes I'm going to give you a better, faster more relaxed, less stressful, more personal way to select gifts for your loved ones.

Author Gary Chapman has written a book entitled The Five Love Languages. In this book he suggests that we each have a primary love language and when people express love to us in this manner we receive it the most poignantly. So this year tailor your gifts to the person.

Make It Happen

Step 1:

Write down the names of the loved ones you are struggling to find a gift for.

Step 2:

Use this quiz, developed by Gary Chapman, to discover the love language of each person on your list. If you don't know the answer ask them...it won't take them more than thirty seconds to answer the question.

5 Love Languages Quiz

Select which one of these five sentences best describes _____________ (fill in name of gift recipient.)

I feel especially loved when people express how grateful they are for me, and for the simple, everyday things I do.
I feel especially loved when a person gives me undivided attention and spend time alone with me.
I feel especially loved by someone who brings me gifts and other tangible expressions of love.

I feel especially loved when someone pitches in to help me, perhaps by running errands or taking on my household chores.

I feel especially loved when a person expresses feelings for me through physical contact.

If you selected:

1. Words of Affirmation

Actions don't always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, "I love you," are important-hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

2. Quality Time

In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, "I love you," like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there-with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby-makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

3. Receiving Gifts

Don't mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous-so would the absence of everyday gestures.

4. Acts of Service

Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an "Acts of Service" person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: "Let me do that for you." Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don't matter.

5. Physical Touch

This language isn't all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face-they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

Step 3:

Use the results of this quiz to give the perfect, heartfelt gift to your loved one. Here are some examples of gifts for different Love Languages.

1. Words of Affirmation

"10 Reasons I adore you List"
A heart-felt letter expressing your love for them
An album celebrating their top five 2009 successes with key phrases of what they did and how

2. Quality Time

Think about giving a certificate for a movie night, breakfast and coffee, lunch date, dinner out ... all of which are to be done together!

3. Receiving Gifts

Something small and meaningful that they wouldn't have expected you to select - the key is that the gift isn't random...it needs to be thoughtful, not expensive or large.
If they like golf a golf ball personalizer
If their hands are always cold, gloves
If they love wine, a bottle of wine each month or just once
If they love flowers, fresh flowers several times over the next year or on a special day
Here are some nice inexpensive ideas from Restoration Hardware